


Every New Beginning

by Amity Fields (Lyla84)



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Allegiant Alternate Ending, Alternate Ending, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:59:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyla84/pseuds/Amity%20Fields
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate ending to Allegiant.</p><p>Tobias returns to the Bureau and looks for Tris, only to find she is seriously injured. Will she survive? And what will become of their relationship in this brave new world...</p><p>(It goes without saying that I do not own Divergent or its characters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

_Tobias_

 

I leap from the truck and run towards the compound. We did it. I feel triumphant. I can see a small group of people waiting by the gate, to congratulate us and fill us in on how their half of the plan panned out, I assume. I scan the faces eagerly as I get closer, looking for Tris- I know she’ll be standing quietly, face serious: Her relationship with Caleb was strained but I know she’ll be devastated that he gave his life for this. For her.

I’m still searching for her when I lock eyes with Christina. She looks sick with worry, her face drawn into a near grimace. My stomach becomes a ball of hot lead. She approaches me slowly.

“Four. It’s Tris”

The words I never wanted to hear. My throat constricts in fear.

“No, it’s ok... sort of. I mean, she’s alive... but she’s hurt, Four, badly.” She’s stumbling over her words and hard to understand, her mouth twitching as she tries not to cry.

I resist the urge to grab her and shake her, and I measure out my words. “Where is she?” I say, slowly.

“The infirmary. I’ll take you.”

She grabs me by the arm and we run towards the main building. Thoughts are racing through my head- how was she hurt, what was she doing... and then I see Caleb.

“What the _fuck_?” I spit, stopping in my tracks. He physically shrinks, cowering away from me.

“It was her, she- she held a gun to my head, there was nothing I could do, I swear, I-“

My fists ball of their own accord, and I’m forcing myself to stay in control and not launch myself at him. But deep down I know he’s telling the truth. I can see it. I should have known that when it came to it, she would save him and sacrifice herself. Brave to the end.

But this isn’t the end.

“We haven’t got time for this”, I say, turning back to Christina, and she gives a small nod, her face tight. We carry on down corridors, banging through doors to reach the medical centre. And then I see her.

She has never looked so small, or so fragile. She’s a tiny doll in the middle of a white hospital bed, wires and tubes attached all over, violating her perfect skin.

“Tris”. My voice comes out strangled and I feel my legs shake. Someone’s holding my arm and saying my name but I can hardly register their words. I manage to approach the bed and fall to my knees, reaching for her hand. The voice is there again, caring but firm: A nurse.

“Tobias? Look, I know it looks bad but you need to let us take care of her”.

I look up. I recognise her. She’s one of Nita’s friends. Then it dawns on me- the memory serum. We’ve erased the memories of all the Genetically Pure in the Bureau, doctors included. The only people still functioning are those who were part of the resistance who immunised themselves against the serum. She must see the panic start to dawn on my face because she smiles slightly and rubs my arm reassuringly.

“Honestly, Tobias, I’ve got this. I’m the most experienced nurse here, I know how all this works. I can keep her alive.  And James, the doctor here, he’ll be fine again in a few days and we can start to work out... what’s happened to her”

“What do you mean?” I ask through the tears that have come from nowhere.

“Well, she’s got several bullet wounds, and although they’re serious, they’re treatable. But she’s survived inhaling Death Serum, Tobias. That’s completely unprecedented.”

She looks me straight in the eye. “I don’t know what kind of damage has been done”, she says gently. “We won’t know for a while. You need to be patient”.

I rest my head on the bed, and a sob escapes, muffled by the covers. She puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Just talk to her. It’ll help you both”.

__________________________________________________________________

 

So I do. Every day. One week passes, then two, then three.

Slowly, the Bureau starts to come back to life. Nita takes the lead in the  ‘re-education’, as she calls it, the process of feeding new ideas to those whose memories have been wiped. Within the first week she’s shown them all the footage of the wars and atrocities perpetrated by the so called ‘Genetically Pure’, and made sure they understand that just because the rest of us might be genetically different, we’re not _damaged_. By the second week, people are functioning again and returning to their jobs, hardly missing a beat.

I try to keep out of it as much as possible. I know it’s necessary, and it was a major part of the plan to make life fairer for the GDs here and in the cities, but it doesn’t sit well with me, changing people’s memories of the past. But I’m grateful when the doctors and nurses return to work and they start trying to figure out how to fix Tris.

It’s difficult though, and I’m constantly on edge. Our first hurdle was explaining what we were doing here at all, never mind how she wound up being shot and exposed to Death Serum. But we kept our accounts simple; a vague story about a group of us coming from the city to look for work, Tris getting lost and trying to let herself into David’s lab, him mistaking her for a malicious intruder and shooting... In the fog of those early days, they seemed to buy it, but as time goes on, I feel more and more uneasy, waiting for questions to be asked.

I just need her to wake up, then we can be out of here.

I entre the medical centre and wave at Carolyn, the nurse who comforted me on that first awful day. We’ve become friends over the past weeks, and it helps that at least one person here knows the truth about what happened.

“That time again already?” she laughs, looking at the clock. I’ve taken to coming twice a day, one in the morning and then again at 2 o clock, as it is now.

“Remember”, she says to me, “Happy thoughts, ok? Give her good memories to come back to”. She smiles gently. They’re trying their best, but they don’t seem any closer to working out how much damage has been done. Their only advice is to keep talking to her, and to keep it positive.

“Yeah, I know” I reply, heading for her room and smiling back. But I’m far from happy. Each day is harder to bear, watching her, my Tris, slip further away. I’ve only ever known her fighting; brave and strong and vibrant. Seeing her so still is slowly eroding all the resilience I have left.

Like every day, I approach the bed. “Hey, beautiful”, I whisper as I sit down. I brush her hair away from her eyes. “Sun’s shining today”. I take her hand. I huge sigh wracks my body. I can’t do this anymore.

“Tris” I say, “I’m scared”. I haven’t said this out loud before. Who would I confide in? The last few city people here, Christina, Caleb, Zeke, his mom Hana- they’re looking to me to lead them, to keep it together.

“I’m finding this so hard, without you. I need you. It’s killing me to see you like this...” I keep my voice low, so Carolyn won’t hear me, but it cracks with emotion.

“Please Tris, come back. I know you. You’ve fought everything that’s ever been put in your way... Fight this. Be brave, Tris.”

I close my and two fat tears roll slowly down my face. “I love you”.

That’s when I hear her breathing in sharply. She hasn’t done that before.

“Tris?”

My eyes dart up to her face. It’s moving, subtly, as if she’s frowning, and her eyelids are flickering. It’s tiny, but I know that something has changed.  “Carolyn!” I shout, never letting my eyes leave her face.

This is it. She’s waking up.

She opens her eyes.

 


	2. Awakening

_ Tris _

I’m floating.

 I’m suspended in darkness, enveloped in warmth. There is no up and no down.

It’s peaceful.

Oblivion is calling me back, pulling me deeper into the fog of nothing, but there’s something nagging me, disturbing the soft monotony.

A beep.

There it is again. Why won’t it stop? I’m experiencing it almost like a beacon in the darkness, a flash of light, shattering the peace around me.

It’s rhythmic and incessant.  It’s intolerable. It’s preventing me from settling back into the embrace of the darkness, and I’m feeling things now, a heaviness in my limbs: I’m not floating anymore. 

And there’s something else too. A voice? Do I know it? There’s something niggling me about it, like an itch in my brain, the seed of a feeling in my gut. I’m straining to hear, and it’s like I’m swimming somewhere deep underwater, reaching vainly for the surface, stretching for the clarity of light and air.

I _do_ know that voice. I still can’t make out the words, but it speaks to me of safety, of strength, of home.

_Tobias_.

I begin struggling against the weight of the drowsiness until I feel I’ve partially broken the surface. I can hear more clearly now, hear the hurt in his voice as he begs me to come back to him, and I’m aware of a dull aching throughout my body, still too far away to be pain. But I still can’t bring myself to move, to open my eyes.

But I _will_.

With every ounce of strength I can muster, I concentrate on my eyelids. I inhale deeply and deliberately and I hear him say my name, a hint of panic in his tone, as he realises I’m conscious, and I hear him calling someone, a nurse maybe, but that’s of no interest to me.

I open my eyes.

Things are blurry at first, but I know the dark shape in front of me is his face, and as my vision clears there he is, his eyes lined with pain and his jaw dark with stubble.

“Tris?” he gasps.

My throat is raw, the pain throughout my body more present now, but I will myself to speak.

“I didn’t want to leave you”. Tears are leaking from the corners of my eyes and I’m powerless to stop them. Tobias reaches for my face and his hands are warm as he uses his thumbs to wipe the tears before they reach my hair. He brings his face close to mine.

“I _knew_. I knew you were still there. That you’d come back to me” he whispers. A smile creases his face. “You’re indestructible”.

I try to smile back but confusion washes over me. I realise that I don’t have the first idea where I am, or why, or how I’ve ended up like this.

“Tobias,” I rasp, “what... happened?” It’s the best I can manage, having to fight for every word. He looks alarmed for a moment, but then controls his expression, closing his eyes and breathing evenly.

“It’s ok, Tris. They’ve said you won’t remember everything. It’s normal. We can talk about everything when you’re stronger”. It sounds rehearsed. Has he been told not to upset me? I wrestle with my memories, trying to untangle them.

“Now”, I choke, frowning as best I can. He looks away for a second, as if to check if no one is coming, then leans back close to me, his mouth by my ear.

“We’re at the Bureau. Do you remember what that is?” he whispers. I’m still at a loss.

“We came here after seeing message from Edith Prior”. Nothing.

He looks frustrated. “What about the factions, the whole city being an experiment, people calling themselves ‘Genetically Pure’? Do you remember David?”

_David._ The name is triggering something...

Then it hits me like a wave. My stomach clenches at the force of the memories, each falling like a domino, one image after another, starting with my mother’s grey clad body hitting the pavement in the city and ending with Caleb’s face as shoved him away and ran for the door of David’ lab.

Then I remember the Death Serum, the panic as I felt it flooding through my system, overwhelming me, _killing_ me...

I force myself back to the present, to Tobias’ face contorted with concern. I realise the constant beep that’s marking my heart rate has sped up alarmingly, and people are entering the room.

A doctor and a nurse are bustling around me, around the equipment, but I keep my eyes locked on Tobias. “We... did it?” I mouth, and I know he’ll understand what I mean. His face relaxes as he nods and gives me a wide grin.

I close my eyes. We succeeded. The memories of the city are safe, while those of the Bureau are subtly different. I allow myself to relax. I have been both brave and selfless, and maybe, just maybe, my work is done.

With Tobias holding my hand, and the medics still fussing around me, I drift off into a true and peaceful sleep.


	3. Hope

_ Tobias _

As news of Tris’ recovery spreads, more and more people start crowding into medical, wanting to see her. Some of the GD workers already saw her as a celebrity after watching her on the cameras that monitored the city. Now she’s become their heroin, and although it would be easy to be swept along with the euphoria, the commotion surrounding her is making me nervous. The less attention we draw to ourselves here the better.

Spending time with her has been wonderful and difficult in equal measure. I'm constantly overwhelmed by relief and joy that she’s ok, but it’s been hard to see her looking so fragile. It’s worlds away from the figure of strength that she’s always been to me, so at first I was unsure how to be around her, treating her like she might break at any second. But as the days have passed, talking and joking with each other has become easier and we've almost slipped back into our old way of being with each other.  I just get the feeling, though, that there is something being left unsaid every time we’re together, some dark cloud on the horizon that’s threatening rain.

I walk into her room to find her sitting in a chair by the window, staring outside, looking awake and refreshed. It’s a dramatic change from the Tris I've become used to and I'm pleasantly surprised. She turns to face me, and I can see by her expression that something’s different.  She looks resolute, determined and almost stern. 

“Hi,” she says and gestures for me to join her at the window, nodding to the empty chair.

“You look really well today,” I say as I sit down, feeling oddly formal sitting across from her like this.  She shrugs slightly.

“I thought it was time I tried getting out of bed.  We need to talk, and it seemed better like this”.

My stomach twists a little at her tone. “What do you mean?” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t pretend it hasn't been hanging over us. We need to decide what’s going to happen when we leave here, which might be soon. We need to talk about... us”.

I’m a little taken aback by how blunt she’s being. It’s crossed my mind, sure, what we’re going to do when we go back to the city. Neither of us really has a home to go to, now the factions are gone, and it’s really not clear to me where either of us of going to fit in the new order of things. But what I am sure of is that wherever we do fit, it’ll be together.

I lean towards her and take her hand. “Look,” I say, “you don’t need to worry about this. Whatever happens, we’ll stick together. I’m going to take care of you.”

To my dismay she pulls her hand away, frowning slightly. “That’s what I'm worried about,” she says quietly, looking down at her lap.

“What?” I reply, confused.

She fixes me with a fierce stare. “How do you think I got over here by the window?”

I'm even more confused now, but as I open my mouth to ask what she’s talking about, she cuts me off.

“I'm only over here because someone _helped me_. And my hair. How do you think I managed to wash it?” There’s a bitterness in her voice that I haven’t heard before and her face is darkening with anger. Without waiting for an answer she carries on.

“I've only been able to get clean because Carolyn helped me. Washed my hair for me like a child.”

Suddenly she deflates, the anger leaving her, sadness left in its place.

“I'm not going to get better over night. Some of my wounds are going to take a long time to heal. And until that happens, I can’t have you... _caring_ for me.” She spits the word as if it’s something foul.

“It wouldn't matter,” I say, desperate for her to understand that I’d do anything for her.

“It would matter to me.” She says, shaking her head, her mouth pressed into a firm line.

I can feel panic rising from my stomach. My eyes dart over her face, trying to read her expression. “So, what are you saying?” I ask. “You want us to break up?”

“No!” she cries, and her face softens. I feel a surge of relief. “I just want us to be... normal, I suppose. A pair of normal sixteen and eighteen year olds , who, I don’t know, go on dates and stuff.” She looks a little sheepish.

I smile. “I don’t think we’ll ever be _normal_ , Tris. I think we've been through too much for that”.

She smiles back and shrugs, tilting her head. “I think that’s all the more reason to try. But I stand by what I said. You’re not taking care of me when we go home. I’ve got a plan.”

Of course she has. She’s still Tris after all, and what could be braver that seeing an uncertain future and facing it head on.

“Zeke and Uriah’s mom has been coming to see me” she says. I feel a little stab at the mention of Uriah’s name. “She said it was hard, coming in here, after what happened,” she continues, “but we got to talking and we've realised we've got a lot in common. We've both lost people. She’s offered to take me in when we go back to the city. Carolyn’s okayed it, told her what she’ll need to do for me”.

I think I understand. With everything that’s happened, it’s easy to forget that Tris has lost both her parents. And Hana is a parent who’s lost a child. Maybe they can bring some sort of comfort to each other.

We keep talking over the details until I notice she’s starting to tire. “This can wait,” I say and she nods gratefully. She pulls herself upright in the chair and turns to shout Carloyn.

“Not a chance” I say, smiling, cutting her off. “I can live with not looking after you after we go home, but let me do this one last thing for you. Get it out of my system.”

Without waiting for her to protest, I scoop her up from the chair, one arm beneath her legs and the other cradling her back. She wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head into my neck. I carry her to the bed and set her down as gently as I can. “That wasn't so bad, I suppose,” she smiles sleepily at me.  Close to her like this, with her face the only thing I can see, the worry and tension of the last hour or so melts away.

Many things might be uncertain in our future, but I'm still sure of one thing.

“I love you Tris Prior”, I say, and kiss her lips softly.

“I love you too Tobias”, she replies, and sighs gently as she closes her eyes. I steal one last kiss before I leave her to sleep. 

_____________________________________

 

As I close the door quietly behind me, I look round for Carolyn, to let her know I'm leaving. She’s behind the nurses’ station but instead of waving goodbye, she beckons me over, her brow furrowed and her lips set in a line of worry.

“What’s going on?” I say as I approach her.

“Keep your voice down,” she whispers back. “I've had a visitor, from David’s office. To arrange a time to interview Tris.”

“What?” I reply. My mind starts racing. What do they know? What do they suspect?

“It’s ok, I've put them off, as well as I could, anyway. Said she was nowhere near well enough yet.” She shakes her head. “We’ll just have to see how long it puts them off for.”

She looks up at me. “I'm not thrilled at the idea of her travelling yet, but I think it’s time to make arrangements.”

I nod slowly, mentally listing everything that’ll need to be done.  I reach over and squeeze her shoulder. “Thanks Carolyn. I know what you’re risking-”

She holds up a hand and shakes her head, dismissing my thanks. “It’s fine. But I mean it. He didn't look thrilled to be sent away.”

 “Ok,” I say, “I’ll check things out with Amar and call back later...”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Don’t tell me what you’re planning. So when they ask me, I can honestly say I don’t know.” She looks at me sadly. “It’s better that way”.

I'm lost for words. The only thing that comes to mind doesn't really do justice to everything she’s done to help us, but I say it anyway.

“Thank you.”

_____________________________________

 

So that is how I find myself, little more than a day later, holding Tris close in the back of Amar’s patrol truck as we rattle away from the Bureau in the frigid hours before dawn.

When we’re several miles away and even the taller buildings are out of sight, I finally breathe deeply, letting go of the tension I’ve been holding on to. My breath clouds in the cold morning air. We've got hours before they notice any of us are gone, and by that time we’ll be inside the walls, safe in the anonymous embrace of the factionless, lawless city, and they won’t dare to follow us there.

Tris is sleeping, curled into me, and I kiss her forehead absent mindedly as I train my gaze on our destination.

The towers of Chicago are coming into view, silhouetted in the first weak light of dawn, wreathed in mist. I've never thought of my home as beautiful before, but it is today. The first day of the rest of my life.

I pull Tris even closer. I can feel emotion building in my chest, running through my veins. Something I haven’t felt for years, perhaps not since my first days in Dauntless.

I think it’s hope.


	4. Starting again

_ A few months later _

_ Tris _

 “Do you want my help or not?!”

I look into the mirror and see Christina has her hand on her hip, head tilted to one side in frustration.

“I asked you, didn’t I?” I reply.

“Well stop fidgeting then”, she says firmly, gathering up my hair with one hand and deftly twisting it, her other hand free to pin it into place.

“I can’t understand what you’re so nervous about anyway” she continues as she works. “It’s just Four. You spend practically all your time with him”.

I shrug, but that receives an exasperated tut, so I concentrate on keeping still. “I know” I reply, “but this is different. It’s our first proper date since coming back”.

Christina sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes. “Ridiculous,” she proclaims. “All you two do is sit around talking and gazing into each other’s eyes. I don’t see how that’s any different here or in the park”.

“Well, we’ll be alone for a start,” I begin, but Christina cuts me off with a laugh.

“Oh, It’s like that, is it?!” She says with a smirk and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“No!” I squeak, feeling embarrassed. “I just mean...  It seems more serious. Like this is the start of something”.

But Christina seems in no mood for analysing my feelings and my protestations receive a further roll of her eyes. “Like I said, ridiculous. But your hair’s done. Like it?”

I stare at my reflection, twisting my head to admire her handiwork. She’s left a few wisps of hair to frame my face while the rest is gracefully coiled and pinned to the back of my head.   I look... different. Older, and yet at the same time more innocent.  I’m a world away from the Dauntless warrior I became. Softer.  My face has a little colour from the makeup Christina has helped me apply, and my eyes look wide and bright. 

I meet her gaze in the mirror and smile. She leans forward and hugs me round the shoulders. It seems completely right that I’ll be moving in here with her in a week.  Hana’s been amazing: patient, kind, strong. She’s given me the time and space to heal emotionally and physically, but I think I’m finally ready to move on and I can’t think of a better roommate than Christina. We’ve been through a hell of a lot together. 

“He’ll be here any minute”, she says, glancing at the clock. “You ready?”

I take a deep breath and take a final look in the mirror.

“As I’ll ever be”, I reply.

_______________________________________________

 

It’s one of those late summer evenings that are so incredibly still it feels like the world is holding its breath.  The warm air feels almost heavy on my exposed arms and shoulders as Tobias and I walk hand in hand through the streets. The city is winding down for the night: the sounds of laughter, the clink of glasses and the squeal of children playing drift over to us as we approach one of the city’s open spaces.

I realise that we’ve been here once before.  I recognise the twisted shapes of that huge metal sculpture where we sat together once, drinking lemon fizz and being honest with each other, a brief respite stolen late one night in the midst of the chaos of war. I look quizzically at Tobias, but as I open my mouth to ask him if he remembers, his nod and smile tell me he does, and this is why we’re here. Our first date in the here and now taking place in the shadow of out only attempt at a date back then: A reminder that although so much has changed, some things are just the same. 

We walk up hill, towards the sculpture. “This look like a good spot?” he asks me, when we reach a smooth area of grass. I look around- from here we can see down across the field, see the families playing and chatting, but we’re a suitable distance away from them to be private, to talk and not be disturbed. “Perfect”, I reply with a smile.

We set down a blanket and I’m glad to rest.  As Tobias begins unpacking the food and drink he’s brought for our picnic, I lean back on my elbows and take the opportunity to people watch. The crowds are so much more colourful these days. Although it’s taken time, people are starting to embrace the freedom to wear whatever they choose. As I scan the crowd I can pick out colours I’ve never seen people wear before, that didn’t belong to any faction- grass green, soft pink, even bright orange. With a smile I glance down at the rich purple sundress I’ve chosen to wear tonight and enjoy the thrill of my own daring choice.

I turn my attention back to Tobias. He’s watching me with a slight smile on his face.

“You look miles away”, he says, and I shrug.

“Just thinking. About how much has changed.”

“I know what you mean,” he says, passing me a cup of orange juice and proffering a box of strawberries.  “Most of it for the better though, don’t you think?”

I nod, and this is all the encouragement he needs to start telling me all about everything he’s learning at his new job as Evelyn’s assistant- about the changes she’s making, the choices she’s giving people, the freedoms they have now. It’s his pet topic at the moment and I let him talk.  I’ve heard most of it before but I love watching him animated like this. It makes him look younger, this almost childlike enthusiasm, and it is so different from the old him, the Dauntless leader, that it’s hard to reconcile the two. Sometimes I can’t believe that this gentle boy in front of me is the same person who calmly held a gun to Eric’s head and executed him without flinching.  All of a sudden I can see that scene playing clearly in my mind’s eye, feel the jolt as the shot rang out, the shock of seeing Eric slump forward, the vivid colour of his blood. 

I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head to push the violent image away.  It’s a habit I’ve developed to dislodge bad memories when they surface, and I know Tobias recognises it- he’ll know I wasn’t listening. I lower my head and look up at him, expecting annoyance, but his face is full of concern.

“It happened again, didn’t it?” he says quietly.  He reaches over and grasps my hand. “It’s fine, you know.” I pull my hand out of his reach and start to turn away. I just can’t bear showing him weakness like this. I’m getting stronger all the time, but there are moments when the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve done, they force their way into head and disrupt what I’m doing. I hate it.

Without saying anything more, he scooches closer on the blanket until he’s right against me. He puts a strong arm around me and draws me in to the safety of his embrace. This is why I love him. He knows when words aren’t going to help and I just need the comfort of his presence.  I breathe deeply and relax into him, inhaling his clean scent.

“I’m ok”, I say, and I mean it. The moment’s passing. “Keep talking. Tell me something.”

“Well... I told you Amar’s involved in training the new police force didn’t I?” He keeps me close as he talks, murmuring into my hair. “Now these jobs are open to anyone, he says he’s getting people who’re really keen, but are nowhere near ready in terms of physical ability. So he’s asked me to help out with some of the initial training, the basic fitness stuff. I’m really looking forward to it.”

I smile into his chest, remembering him as my trainer. “Are you going to have them call you Four?” I tease, digging him in the ribs with my elbow.

“I haven’t quite decided”, he replies with mock haughtiness.

An idea comes to me. I twist around so I can see his reaction. “What if you re-trained _me_?” I say.

“What?”

“What if I came along? To one of the classes”.

His forehead wrinkles. “I don’t know, Tris. Are you sure you’re-“

“Don’t even say it!” I butt in, “Of course I’m ready for it. You said yourself you’re pitching it at people who have no fitness at all. It’d be perfect!” Even as I’m saying it, I’m feeling excited about it- a chance to get back to how I used to be, to who I used to be.

Tobias still looks unsure. “But how would the rest of the group react?” he protests, “I’ve got discipline to think of, you know. It’s not like Dauntless where the hierarchy was set in stone, where we could go around threatening people. I can’t be seen to be treating anyone differently.”

“Then we’ll pretend we don’t know each other”, I say. My eyes widen as the idea forms. “It’ll be just like when you were first training me”. My face splits into a wicked grin. “All that tension, not being able to touch each other...”

“Tris!” he exclaims, but he’s smiling now too and I can tell he’s quite taken with the idea. 

“Just think,” I say, “I wouldn’t be able to do _this_ ,” and I slip my arm under his and around his back, drawing myself close to him, pressing myself into him just a little bit more firmly.

“Or _this_ ” I continue, placing the gentlest of kisses on his lips. He smirks under my lips then kisses me back, harder, parting my lips with his. He twists so that we are facing each other, pushing me gently back on to the blanket.

“How would I bare it?” he murmurs, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear and placing kisses softly on my neck, down to my collar bone, making me shiver.

I smile in reply, but I sit myself up a fraction, just for a second. “But seriously”, I say, “you’ll think about it? Letting me re-train?”

“Ok”, he sighs, “I’ll look into it. I promise”. He looks at me earnestly then grins. “So where were we?” He kisses my collarbone again and I relax back into the blanket, and he follows me. I can feel his whole body pressed against mine, an insistent warmth, comforting but thrilling at the same time.

I glance down to the people gathered on the field below but no one pays us any notice. We are unremarkable now, just two young people passing the evening together, pulling each other close as the moon rises and the air grows cool.  I couldn’t be happier. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any feedback is welcome.


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